me again

I wanna scream loud, as loud as aI can. Till it break d mirror, I don’t care. I care so much about what I’ve been done. Once again I call myself as a disaster.
Why do I wanna scream? Cz Im so afraid, Im so scared, and yes … I feel so much guilty.
Ya Allah, … for d next time … everything I do, because You love it n told me so. N what I do not do, because You hate it n ask me to stay away. Ya Allah … d rest of my life, … I wont forget my mistake, wanna take d responsibility, dunno whether I hav d right to feel happiness … Ya Allah, … thank You so much, alhamdulilahirobbil’alamin, for everything You gave to me …